


Scared of the Dark

by ThatDamnKennedyKid



Category: Until Dawn (Video Game)
Genre: Assuming that the characters are Canadian, Because the lodge is in Alberta, Centres on Mike/Sam, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Injury Recovery, Mentions of Violence, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Survivor Guilt, Which is in Canada
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-02
Updated: 2015-10-02
Packaged: 2018-04-24 05:48:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4907737
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ThatDamnKennedyKid/pseuds/ThatDamnKennedyKid
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The events of the lodge changed everyone. Mike supposed that when he woke up in the hospital - Chris asleep in a chair beside Ashley on the other side of the room - and Sam bent over his bed, asleep with her hand in his and not Jessica, that it could have been worse. Even though it shouldn't, it still feels like this was the worst option.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Scared of the Dark

_"I'm going to accept the offer from U of T."_   _Jessica said, her voice quiet in the darkness of the room._

_"Uh . . . I don't mean to sound insensitive, but is this really the time to be thinking about that?"_

_"I'm leaving here, Mike." She stared at the ceiling, face as blank as the tiles she stared at. "I'm never coming back here. I'll move to Ontario and forget all about this."_

_Slowly, he nodded. "Um, okay. Why are you telling me this?"_

_"Because I know you're not going to Toronto with me. You'll stay here, in Alberta. I don't want anything to do with this place anymore."_

_"What's your point?"_

_She turned to look at him and defeated determination stared back at him. "This is a really shitty move, I know, but we're done. i hope you have a good life, Mike. You deserve it."_

The events of the lodge changed everyone. Mike supposed that when he woke up in the hospital - Chris asleep in a chair beside Ashley on the other side of the room - and Sam bent over his bed, asleep with her hand in his and not Jessica, that it could have been worse. Even though it shouldn't, it still feels like this was the worst option.

Cracked ribs, severed finger, frostbite, concussion, shock. Name it, he had it. At the very least, that's what the doctors said. 

His parents had been by. They'd been gentle, but he wouldn't talk. He couldn't. They wouldn't believe him anyway. 

"I can hear you thinking." 

If he had any nerves left, he would have jumped at Sam's sleep-roughened voice. "Yeah."

"What's on your mind?"

"Hannah dragged Josh off. She didn't kill him."

Sam sat up, more alert, but didn't let go of his hand. "You saw?"

"Yeah. She dragged him, screaming, back down there. She didn't kill him. He might still be alive."

"Then it's already too late."

He cast a sidelong glance at her. "What do you mean?"

"The doctor's notes from the Sanatorium. You had them in your jacket. I saw."

He winced. Sam took a deep breath.

"He's one of them already. If he's still alive."

"I left him there to die."

She silently shook her head. He squeezed her hand and she climbed into the bed beside him, pulling him tight to her. "It's not your fault, Mike."

"It is."

"It  _isn't._ _Hannah_ killed him - or doomed him - and there is nothing else to it. it would have happened even if I had stayed with you down there. None of us are to blame for what happened on that mountain, least of all you."

And he cried.

* * *

"I heard Jessica moved to Toronto."

Mike nodded, hands wrapped firmly around his coffee. "Yeah."

"Are you two still . . . ?"

"No."

Staring at one of his old friends, he realized the ache he felt was loneliness. No one at the table here could understand him, couldn't even understand that he wasn't normal anymore. He wasn't  _like them_ , didn't see the world the way they did anymore. And he just-

He couldn't take it.

* * *

"Oh my God, Mike, it's three in the morning and freezing! Come in, come in."

"I'm sorry, Sam, I just didn't know who else to go to. I'm so alone with my friends and my parents look at me like I'm crazy-"

She grabbed his face with both hands. "Shush. C'mon. Take off your gear and go have a warm shower. Your sweats from last week should be clean. Third drawer in my desk." She smiled sweetly, sympathetically,  _understanding,_ before patting his cheek and shooing him up the stairs. "I'll have a movie and cocoa ready. We'll leave all the lights on and camp out in the living room."

When she hugged him, he latched onto her, arms tight and desperate around her before relief and exhaustion swept through him and he slumped into her. 

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Sam."

He felt her smile against his neck and she held him tighter too. "I'd be lost without you, Mike."

* * *

"Jessica had the right idea! I don't know what the hell I'm still doing here!"

"Leave then!"

"Don't call me ever again! I don't care if you've got one last call before Hannah eats your sorry ass alive!"

"I'd have better luck reasoning with Hannah than you!"

Suddenly, Sam stood up. Mike, having been seated beside her, was close enough to see her shaking. "Get out."

Emily and Matt stopped their screaming match to look at their blonde friend. Her fists, jaw and eyes were clenched tightly shut, her whole body vibrating.

"What?" Emily asked, voice considerably softer and much more worried.

A sob broke out of her throat. "GET OUT! BOTH OF YOU! GET THE FUCK OUT!"

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ashley and Chris curl into each other, startled by Sam's scream. Emily and Matt took a moment to look her over before they both silently dressed and left.

Sam's knees were knocking together and Mike reached out to catch her just in time. He pulled her back into his lap, cradling her head against his shoulder, cooing sweet nothings. 

"H-how can they say that?!" Sam screamed at a whisper, voice lost to betrayed anger and resentment. "How can they talk about her like that?"

"I don't know." He murmured, stroking her hair. She weakly hit his chest, repressing the tears and the sobs as best she could. 

"How  _dare_ they?!" She hit him weakly once more before she curled in on herself in his arms, sobbing hard into his shirt and fisting the material tightly. 

* * *

That week, Emily and Matt had a messy breakup in the middle of a mall. 

Emily moved into the States with her new boyfriend and Matt left for British Columbia, where he had a scholarship offer for his football talent. 

Chris and Ashley didn't talk much anymore. They moved like ghosts, silently standing testament to the deterioration of their group and their friendship. Only once did Mike catch a part of their whisperings. 

"This is because of Josh."

* * *

"So, are you two going out?" One of his friends asked him one day.

"Huh?"

"You and Sam? Are you tapping that?"

Thinking of his other relationships, he winced and squirmed. Sam had been there for him though the darkest of his grief and regret, stayed with him his whole time in the hospital. Hell, he practically lived with her, with the strange looks his parents gave him. There was nowhere more comfortable - more  _safe_ \- than being with Sam in her apartment. "No."

"Aww, c'mon! Don't you live with her now? You gotta be!"

He was on his feet in an instant, hands slamming down on the tabletop. "Stop talking about her like a piece of meat."

Another friend further down the table laughed. "Aww, ease up, Mike. we don't want to take her from you. No need to get defensive."

He just turned and left. There was no way to explain what Sam meant to him. No way to tell them what they had survived together, no way to express how much he needed her comfort and how much just knowing that  _someone_ was alive and breathing beside him while he slept kept the nightmares away.

_"It's not personal." Jessica said, packing her bags as Mike stood in the doorway of her bedroom. "It really isn't. I like you, maybe even love you, but I can't stay here."_

_He nodded, looking down onto the ground. "No, no. I get it. If I could leave, I would too."_

_"I thought you got accepted into UCLA?"_

_He met her eyes and smiled softly, hand unconsciously rubbing the area where his finger was severed. "Like I said - if I could."_

_She nodded back gently, moving to stand in front of him. She gently took his hands and ran her thumbs over the knuckles. "I won't do you any good. I can't stay here, not for me or you, but I can't save you, either."_

_He knew that, too."Good luck, Jess."_

_She smiled and let him go. "You too, Mike."_

* * *

It felt like ages since the last time he felt lust.

He'd moved in with Sam officially six months ago, though he'd been sleeping there regularly since about two months after the catastrophe. Her bed was a double and she had never had problems sharing. He slept in her bed since the beginning, sometimes crying himself to sleep on her shoulder, sometimes she would. 

Still, of all the things the intimacy of this bed provided them, lust hadn't been one of the things he'd even thought of. And yet, here he was, in the twilight hours before dawn on a Sunday, his arms around Sam and a boner pressed as conspicuously as it could be against her ass. 

"I'm sorry." He whispered. 

"Don't be." She murmured back, fingers lacing back with his. "Were you planning on being celibate forever?"

"I didn't think it would come up again when I'm still . . . messed up."

"It's a sign your mind is healing." She turned around to face him. "So. Who were you thinking of? What were you dreaming?"

He hadn't hidden anything from Sam since the Lodge and she hadn't from him, either. He took a deep breath, worry creasing his face. "And . . . if I said I had a dream about you and me?"

She blinked - almost startled looking. "Me?" 

"The way you say it makes it sound like you're  _not_  smokin' hot."

She laughed, lightly slapping his arm. "Ah,  _there's_ the Mike I know."

He laughed too. "You think I'm joking, don't you?"

She was still smiling. "Well, you are, aren't you? There's no way that you would . . . want me . . . "

"For someone so brilliant, you sure take a long time to catch up." He stroked his thumb over her cheekbone. "Say the word and we'll never speak of this again. I don't want to make this weird or lose it like I've done with every other relationship I've had."

She frowned, concern coming over her face. "Mike . . . "

"I don't know if I love you, but I sure as hell don't know how to live without you."

She smiled sweetly, the way that made his heart skip a beat, and wrapped her arms around him. "Get some more sleep. we'll talk about this in the morning."

* * *

 

* * *

Mike blinked at the invading dawn light. He grabbed his phone and hit  _Answer_. 

"Hello?"

_"Mike?"_

He stilled, eyes blowing wide and body stilling. "Jess?"

She gave a huff of air that passed for nervous laughter.  _"Hey. I didn't know if you still had this number. It's been a long time."_

"Yeah it has." Gently, he extracted himself from the bed, careful to make sure not to disturb Sam. "How've you been?"

_"I've been okay. Got some professional help. The nightmares kept up for a long time, but I don't really get them anymore."_

"I know what you mean." He closed the door to the bedroom, running a hand through his hair. "It's great to hear from you and all, but I have to ask: why now, all of a sudden?"

She sighed.  _"As much as I love it here and fear going back there, I miss you guys. I tried to break contact altogether, but I just couldn't bring myself to delete your numbers or your pictures. Even . . . Even the ones with Josh, Hannah and Beth."_

"So, is it guilt, then?"

He could tell she was biting her lip.  _"Partly. I left you to help myself and I don't regret that, but I can't help but hate myself for it now that I'm . . . better. Have you gotten better? What about Sam, Chris or Ashley? Matt? Emily?"_

"Chris and Ashley are together now. Got an apartment in Edmonton together. Ashley got a degree in psychology and her M.D. to open her own practise. Emily moved to California. I hear she's got a clothing line now. Matt's playing football somewhere on the east coast. It's just Sam and I left, now. I moved in with her after the incident. Supported each other through it. She's . . . She's been really good to me, Jess. Don't know what I'd have done without her."

Jess was silent for a long time.  _"Did they ever find Josh?"_

He took a deep breath. "They did."

_"How is he?"_

His silence spoke for him.

_"Oh."_

"How've you been, Jess? What's going on in your life?"

She laughed slightly, guilt weighing down her voice.  _"I got married, believe it or not. I got a Bachelor's of Business and started work at a bank. Married a client - a labour lawyer from Toronto. I've settled well. Got a good lot out of life."_

"I'm glad to hear it."

_"What are you and Sam doing now?"_

"Sam's working on her Ph.D. I finished my BA and started working on a horse ranch. 

_"Can't say I ever envisioned you working on a farm."_

He chuckled. "Me neither. Sam suggested I take up animal care as a kind of hobby to help with stress. I had a talent for horses."

_"I'm glad. So, are you and Sam . . . ?"_

He shrugged, even though she couldn't see it. "Our recovery has been a longer process than everyone else, I think."

_"So you don't . . . ?"_

"I'd love to. I really would, Jess. I would even go as far as to say I love her. But . . . I have no idea about Sam."

_"You should tell her. Just spell it out for her."_

"Maybe. I don't know how well she'd respond, though. We're so platonic, how would she react knowing that I wanted more from her? Sam's forgiving, but I don't know if she could lie with me knowing that, even if it never happened."

_"Sam's not that type of girl. She'd never kick you out for something like that. Besides, I'm sure she needs someone too. Have either of you even dated since it went down?"_

He paused. "No, we haven't. I didn't even think about it."

* * *

Sam's smile was tight when she set out breakfast that morning. 

"What's wrong?"

"You don't have to stay here, you know."

He blinked. "What?"

"If you want to be somewhere else or with someone else, you don't have to stay. I won't hold it against you."

He took a hold of her hand. "What in the hell are you talking about, Sam?"

She let out a long breath and dropped her head into her free hand. "I'm being foolish."

"Just tell me."

"I heard you this morning on the phone with Jessica." She paused, but seemed to decide honesty was the best policy. "So, what's her name? This new girl you're into? I won't be nasty because you've moved on."

So. That's what this was about. Mike just smiled and shook his head. "You're one of the smartest and stupidest people I've ever met. Working on a Ph.D in biological anomalies, but you can't figure out that I'm in love with you?"

"You're . . . what?"

"I love you, Sam. I don't think I could ever feel like this for someone else. We've been through so much shit together and there isn't another soul that could understand that. And if there is . . . I don't wanna find them."

She covered her eyes with her hands, but she was smiling. "I am stupid."

"Yeah, but you're  _my_ stupid."

She laughed as he pulled her into a hug. Her fingers wound into his hair, her grip desperate but gentle. She pressed her face into the crook of his neck, fighting back her tears. He wrapped his arms around her waist, pulling her onto his lap. "I love you too, Mike."

* * *

I'M STARVING! YOU'RE STARVING ME!

Sam and Mike stood on the other side of the glass, watching Josh claw and writhe. Occasionally he screamed, but the hospital staff has soundproofed the room so he couldn't scare the nurses and doctors. 

"I miss you, Josh." Sam whispered, wanting to reach out to him through the glass, but knowing he would only start biting, gouging the glass. "I really do. You, Hannah, Beth. I miss six years ago."

Mike wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she twined her fingers with his, still careful after all this time of the two stumps where his fingers used to be. "I miss you, buddy."

"I'm so sorry." Came quietly from behind them.

Without a word, Sam held her hand out behind her. Slim, polished fingers slipped in with hers, squeezing tightly. 

"It's good to see you again, Jess."

The other blonde smiled weakly. "I feel so bad about leaving. I should have stayed. Just a little bit longer."

Sam shook her head. "You had do to what you had to do. You're not the only one that left."

She pursed her lips and nodded. "I can't help it."

Sam smiled wanly. "I don't expect you to. Everytime I think about him, I wonder what else I could have done. He used to come to me, to talk to me. There's something else I could have done, but I don't know what. That haunts me."

Jess moved in closer, hand squeezing once more. "How much do you visit?"

"As much as I can. I make sure once a month, though."

Mike nodded beside her. 

"I should come up once a year." Jess said quietly. "Stay for a week."

"You don't have to. You don't owe us anything."

"I may not," Jess sceeded. "but I do owe Hannah. Had I never started this, nothing would have happened. If I wasn't such a jealous, cruel bitch to Hannah, this would  _never_ have come about."

Sam wanted to soothe her, but the truth of her words clogged the comfort in Sam's throat. 

Tears welled in her eyes, but she didn't let them fall. "I don't deserve comfort, Sam, so don't worry about it."

"I didn't know anyone else was going to be here."

Mike looked over, his face grim but not unkind. "Welcome home, Matt."

"Oh, what? So everyone else leaves and I'm the bitch?"

Chris sighed. "You know, this is why you don't have friends in California."

Ashley slapped his arm. "That's not fair!"

"Honestly, I hate you all. I don't even know why I-"

Josh threw his body against the glass, screeching loud enough to be heard through the six-inch layer of bulletproof glass. He snarled and hissed and spat, deformed nails etching thin lines along the surface. 

Only Sam and Mike didn't jump back, silenced by Wendigo fury. They stared resolutely at him, grim dedication tinting the air around him. 

"Maybe if you weren't such a self-centred bitch, you could understand why we're here." Sam said quietly. She turned to Jessica. "Do you have somewhere to stay?"

She blinked. "Uh, no. I- The plane landed and I came directly here."

"You can stay with us, if you'd like."

Josh shrieked again and Jess started to shake. "S-Sure. I-I'd love to."

Sam nodded. "We'll come back tomorrow, then."

Shakily, Jess nodded. 

* * *

The next morning, Emily, Matt, Chris and Ashley met Sam, Mike and Jess in a small restaurant for breakfast. Silence surrounded them, thick with something akin to hostility, but leaning into mourning. 

Emily huffed, fidgeting uncomfortably in her chair. "Since everyone's here, I may as well get this over with." She sat up straighter, her resting bitch face falling to something more remorseful. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have acted so stupid in the hospital yesterday and none of you deserved that. Least of all Josh."

Jess looked down at the table, hands in her lap, coffee still and cold in front of her, nervousness eating away at her. 

Slowly, Ashley nodded. "It's okay, Emily. We all have coping mechanisms."

Matt chuckled nervously. "Right. Psychiatrist."

Ashley smiled crookedly. "That's right. I'm psychoanalyzing you all as we speak."

Mike and Sam snorted at the same time and the tension in Jess snapped. She slapped her hands over her mouth, trying her best to stifle her giggles. 

"What?" Mike asked, eyebrow raised. 

"You both snorted." Jess giggled. 

"Oh my god, you did!" Ashley burst out.

Sam rolled her eyes. "No we didn't."

"Don't try to lie, hon. It doesn't suit you." Emily said, a cheeky grin on her face and her arms crossed. 

"Okay, so what if we did?" Mike shot back. 

"And you guys used to make fun of me and Ashley. Look at you nerds." Chris teased. "Just fuck already! Put a ring on that girl, Mike, honestly."

"Who says he hasn't?" Sam replied, leaning back into the arm around her shoulder, a smug smile across her lips. 

* * *

The week passed rather quickly, their friends all returning to their new homes, their goodbyes more made bitter by having to return over resentment. 

Mike woke once more to Sam in his arms, her hair down and her skin bare. He kissed along the line of her shoulders, early-morning lethargy shadowing his movements. She hummed, pressing back into him and grabbed his left hand, lightly kissing the remains of his fingers, down his palm, to his wrist. 

"I love you, Sam."

She smiled against his hand, nuzzling into it. "Love you more, Mike."

 

 

 

 

 


End file.
